Thursday, August 25, 2011

Plank Pullin' - The Prickly One

This is one I've been meaning to do for some time. I have plenty of planks to pull. So let's start the deconstruction!

I'm brittle. Sensitive. Whatever word it is you use to say "I get my feelings hurt far too easily and frequently feel snubbed or slighted when no such thing was intended." The Hubs will pick up something laying on an end table and I fly into defensive mode, determined to show him that I am NOT a bad housekeeper - the jerk! How dare he insult my homemaking skills! By - um - errr - picking up - after him - self? My mother-in-law and sister-in-law will run out of town shopping together and one will ask if they can pick anything up for me. Steam begins to billow from my ears. My eyes cross. Blood boiling. They've snubbed me! They could ask me to go but noooooo, they just - kindly offer - to do me - a - favor?

I think what makes it worse is that this trait reminds me so much of my mother. How often would that woman irrationally fly off the handle at some perceived slight that never happened? I've really felt convicted about this lately. The funny thing is, what kicked off the conviction was an incident that I'm still not convinced wasn't an intentional slight. Either way, though, it brought to my eyes the fact that too often I respond with a flash of anger to a perfectly harmless thing somebody does. And as I think about my own mother and her responses I remember that constant feeling of walking on eggshells around her, trying not to break the wrong nerve and cause her to lash out. This is what I've probably been doing to my own husband and daughters.

I can't promise an overnight change but at least I finally noticed the giant log in my eye so I can start taking steps to fix it. Possibly one toothpick at a time, but that's better than nothing. And I promise, if you chime in with an opinion here, I won't bristle up and snap at you ;-)

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